You're all right. I've been thinking for a while on this and went to see IC yesterday (even though I was dreading seeing a new one and having to re-tell my story). She said to let it go about the 3-day weekend and chock it up as a "I screwed-up" and move on and think about what could I do next. Well, my D's B-day(turning 3)is next Wed and I was thinking it would be cool to show up as a surprise. Although I remember W talking about delaying her party until I show 1st week of May.
Baseball fan ????
Cause I'm gonna throw you a curveball....
Going to visit would have been a GREAT idea, if you would have done it last week.
Showing up for a birthday, normally would be a great thing, and it is a great idea for your children...
Your children ONLY...
Sadly, showing up for the good times is what this marriage has been about all along.
Anyone can do the 'better' in a marriage.
It is the 'worse' . that causes people to fail miserably...
And you blew an opportunity last weekend, to be there for the 'worse'
So IF you decide to go, you go for your kids only, and you plan to stay anywhere besides the home, unless you are asked to stay in the home.
You go, not expecting anything in return from your spouse....
This visit isn't about her, it is about your Daughter...
Although you CAN leave an impression along the way.
You can plant a seed , that can grow...in time
Originally Posted By: RS
Currently, I haven't been able to talk to W so I have no way of making these plans at the moment because I don't know what her schedule is. I called last night and there was no answer. It's frustrating and S and I still haven't been able to skype for the 1st time yet. This is why I'm believing now that going up there asap (as everyone has pointed out) is perhaps a good idea. I'm getting nowhere at this moment with phone conversations or texts. If W was serious about having D's B-day later, then I can be there for the party and help W with moving. But she mentioned that the move was in the timespan of the 1st 2 weeks of May. I need to know. Arrggh!
DO NOT SHOW UP UNEXPECTED....
You need to communicate your plans to your spouse.
Send a carrier pigeon if you have to...
Showing up at her door without planning anything will be perceived as pressure to her , and she will NOT do well with it.
Do not expect things to be all normal , and do not expect a romp in the sack with her....
She still needs time and space , although she needs to feel special.
You do that with your actions now, and you listen when/IF she wants to speak of it....
Does this change the time you planned for May ???
RS, you are walking a VERY fine tightrope , and hope you have the balance that you need for it...
This is about you being different when you interact with her, this is about showing her that she is the most important thing in your life, and this is about no more empty words from you...
And it has to be done with consistency....without over doing it...
So if you have any plans of showing up with a Rodeo clown and a field full of flowers ???
