I still would like a few details about your sitch, to get a clearer picture of how your R got to the point you two are at, but that will come in time, I guess. We can be more specific that way.
What I do sense is that you are putting a lot of mental effort into what other people (granted, loving and caring people who root for you) think about you, your M and your way of life.
Your family loves you and wants what they think it is best for you. The catch of course is that only you can decide what it is that you want, and what will ultimately make you happy. You will make mistakes, and hit walls, and get hurt in the process, for sure; but it will be your mistakes and your pain and your hurt that you will use as building blocks of the better person you want to become.
So the major first question in DBing comes: what are your goals?
"You don't throw a whole life away just 'cause it's banged up a little"
Tom Smith in "Seabiscuit"
