Shisss, catching up on your sitch will comment soon. Didn't want to hijack your thread, but AS wrote on yours (how inappropriate is it to solicit responses from certain ppl?) -
Originally Posted By: AnotherStander
The other thing I would change is learning to STHU and just listen and validate. I eventually figured that out (with the help of DR, these forums and RetroV), but it took months and months to get there and in the meantime I spent WAY too much time talking and not nearly enough listening which for me was "more of the same" behavior because that's what I did throughout the M.
This comment made me think of my same behavior. In regards to working on/communicating about my R w/ H, I was either angry or pleading, or at the end indifferent. I thought the indifference was acceptance, but I'm pretty sure H took it as "don't care anymore" and I can admit there was a whole lot of that too.
I'm really lost at how else to be in dealing w/ H. DB kind of goes along the line of indifference & acceptance (detaching) but that would be more of the same for me.
I've had many opportunities lately to be around H and have avoided all personal topics or questions of him and I'm wondering if that is translated as 'not caring' and viewed as more of the same... and it kind of limits us to weather, movies and kids topics of conversation. But it's safe in db land...
