You guys are God sent, your advice has impacted my life immensely in all areas. I am still working on my self being the best father I can be to my son.
He started visiting my apartment overnights for other wknds last month as per court orders. She wants to inspect my place, she did this Saturday. Took pictures and says its messy and not well kept. The idea of her visit was to help me make it better for my son from women's point of view. She walks out saying our lawyers need to talk. I have a feeling she might sting me, I made all changes as per her comments to counter her accusations. Took pics
As much I want to avoid a conflict, as i am seeing my son with her, she just wants a dog fight. Lot of wrath anger guilt revenge, I want to get back to you attitude, and she is not honest about any thing, she lies in my face about facts, she just refuses and ignores to see her part
This is my 2nd overnight, the 1st one was the issue with soiled clothes. Then I got a new washer and dryer . Accuses that I kept my toddler in urinated clothes,which is not true.
This time when I dropped my son, says you don't need to have my pic in your apartment. You started this D process, you are the one who walked out. My son is wanting to stay with me more. When I drop with her, he says I don't want to go with mommy. He is 3 yrs, She keeps bringing our past infarcts and is just starting to talk to me about past things, I said we need to talk in another setting without son.
She brings up the strange things like my family is ganging up on her and I am trying to take her son away from her . I tell my son , mommy and daddy love him and have never told anything negative about anything to that young mind. On the contrary I heard some disturbing things from son.
I am reading a good book divorce poison and some things tell me she need help, like 3 rd part counseling or a common friend or some intervention.
Today, as per vets here did not linger longer, just made sure son would get busy with her slowly and I would slide. He would not let me go if I just told him and part. She tells me are you telling anything bad about me to my son, I tell her that's silly and she crys saying that my family is ganging up on her, I just told her we can talk it over later but not do it in front of the son. She keeps doing this bait thing and keeps testing me all the time by engaging me in a volley of arguments and randon accusations. I need help how to deal with visitations, she claims to change the over nights to 10- 6 pm. I just said we will talk and slided, did not want any more drama on the street in front of son.
She refuses all phone calls form my family and I can't trust her anymore one time she threatens me and she blames and accusses me for everything. When I ask for sugestions with help with apartment when my son is visting she says that her sugestions have made our marraige fall through.
I think I should just stop asking her any thing. I thought it would be another way to reassure her, if she thinks it's child safe or any good ideas to improve. There is no order as per rules for her visit to check my place but she insisted she see my place and let her. I wanted her to be involved in child care.
I sense a lot a guilt and remorse and at the same time accusing me for the situation, she wants to talk to me and I told her today lets go slow, structured and witnessed, we just started talking when we exchanged son twice and only via email and text other times
M - 39W- 38 M - 4 yr,Date-4 mths Son - 2 yr day care S - 9/12 Divorced- 10/10/13 Visits with son other week Working on myself & son,co-parent,change,assertive,alpha/beta, entrepeurneur,care,heal,centered
I am glad you have found support here. Also, it is a good idea not to discuss the relationship in front of your son. You may want to find a mediator. If you aren't talking to a DB coach, it could be extremely beneficial to talk to one before you meet with her to discuss situation. They will help you come up with a plan that can make all the difference in the outcome of the relationship. Take good care.
Karen, Resource Coordinator The Divorce Busting Center 303-444-7004 karen@divorcebusting.com
Give me a call if you'd like to schedule an appointment to speak with a Divorce Busting® Coach.
She texts me 7 am and tells my son has fever so can't send to daycare. Took my morning off and she was working till 12pm, she asked me to drop him at home. She said thank you. I left..
M - 39W- 38 M - 4 yr,Date-4 mths Son - 2 yr day care S - 9/12 Divorced- 10/10/13 Visits with son other week Working on myself & son,co-parent,change,assertive,alpha/beta, entrepeurneur,care,heal,centered
She is making small moves, spoke to our nanny, she suggested we meet, we had a dinner and we were thinking of having a breakfast, the 3 of us and son. Just to have a chat in a social setting. I as suggested therapy as an option to our nanny as a solution, but did not suggest of any reconciliation, only focusing on son and coparenting. I would appreciate if vets divert some energy to my situation.
M - 39W- 38 M - 4 yr,Date-4 mths Son - 2 yr day care S - 9/12 Divorced- 10/10/13 Visits with son other week Working on myself & son,co-parent,change,assertive,alpha/beta, entrepeurneur,care,heal,centered
My ship just looked it was turning, it is my wknd and i texted her that I will pick at 7 as per court orders, she texts and emails she has plans in my wknds and would not give time with son, texted her back saying she should start compensating if she takes my time. She replies she is not wanting overnights and this would violate court orders. I will not reply yet will sit on for 24 hrs, compiled email, saying her to read orders again if needed and it is illegal to plan in my time. I would take action via lawyer if she is not compliant with court orders. She seems to bring the fact that she had made plans for the wknds before our d process started. I cannot tolerated so much of unfairness and excuses to keep my son away for me. It looks like she is wanting to seperate my son for me, just to get back at me
M - 39W- 38 M - 4 yr,Date-4 mths Son - 2 yr day care S - 9/12 Divorced- 10/10/13 Visits with son other week Working on myself & son,co-parent,change,assertive,alpha/beta, entrepeurneur,care,heal,centered
Ok, don't email or anything, just let my lawyer handle it, he is charging me arm and length. I will need to see my son, she knows she can twist my arm. I think she just wants to deprive me the thing that I value the most.
M - 39W- 38 M - 4 yr,Date-4 mths Son - 2 yr day care S - 9/12 Divorced- 10/10/13 Visits with son other week Working on myself & son,co-parent,change,assertive,alpha/beta, entrepeurneur,care,heal,centered
Ok, I will, I just asked her yesterday morning to have dinner and put every thing on table, all her anger,frustrations what ever she likes. She said she was busy on Thursday, also told her If u can't make it we can do it any time later, this was to talk aboutour son and how to makes things better. will wait another day and if I don't hear,I think I will take legal action
M - 39W- 38 M - 4 yr,Date-4 mths Son - 2 yr day care S - 9/12 Divorced- 10/10/13 Visits with son other week Working on myself & son,co-parent,change,assertive,alpha/beta, entrepeurneur,care,heal,centered
