Myrrh - You have come to the right place Unfortunately, friends and family just want to see you not get hurt. They are NOT your best source of encouragement in this situation. They will NOT understand what you are trying to accomplish. But we do!
If H is still saying he wants to come home, that is HUGE! He may be waiting to see you make some more changes, or to be sure your changes are for real. Work on yourself, do some 180's, keep a positive mental attitude. If you need to lose weight or get in shape, do it. If you could use a makeover - do it. If you need to be more adventuresome, more outgoing, more responsible, less serious, more serious - whatever it is, do it. Surprise him. Intrigue him.
Approach all things with a beginner's mind. Let go of your preconceptions, the "oh, I could never do that's", the "he'll never change this", the "we could nevers". Try to see things from your H's point of view, no matter how hard that is to accept. Work on moving FORWARD to a NEW R with H, not backwards to the old one - and tell your H that.
Read some threads here and see how others have done it. Reread Divorce Remedy or Divorcebusting and focus on the baby steps - that's where you'll see progress first.
