Losing Hope

[Shiss]

Hugs to ALL of you! So grateful for the support when you all have your own lives to deal with. It is much appreciated. Chapter 1 third time around here I come!!

[mrtwopointfour]

I so wanted my W to read that chapter too! I now know how bad that would have gone!

I found an electronic copy of it somewhere and emailed it to her and then told her I had emailed it to her just to make doubly sure she knew it. Then I snooped in her email to see if she had read it. Wow, three stupid moves clustered together, how can that not work? LOL! She did read it, and (of course) she never said one word about it. Yeah, I learn what not to do the hard way

I am hiding my copy of DR. W found my copy of ILYBINILWY, and that came across the room at quite a pace, and that is lightweight reading compared to DR! Still, I can't understand why finding ILYBINILWY upset her so much.

[mrtwopointfour]

Chapter 1 third time around here I come!!

I am about to start this again myself tonight - good luck

[Shiss]

2.4 was ILYBINILWY helpful?

[mrtwopointfour]

Very, but I found it a little hard to read because it talks a lot about working things out as a couple (not something you always want to read when you are working on it alone), although he does talk about working it out by yourself, and it does help you see things from your partners perspective very well.

[Shiss]

Thank you! Any other reads you would recommend?

[mrtwopointfour]

Well, he has also written another book called 'My Wife Does not love me anymore' which was the first book i read, and this was what stopped helped me making too many mistakes early on. I would say its more like DR than ILYBINILWY, which is more counselling based. Its targeted at men, but he claims is also good for wives too. I own a couple more of his books but not had time to read them yet.

I have read the 5LL, and this was fantastic. Really opened up my eyes to how I had been getting things wrong. I am half way through this again, but think DR is calling so I can get my focus and direction back.

[BrightFuture]

I also read ILYBINILWY. It opened my eyes. The author talks about what every couple goes through over the years in the relationships. I did recognize a lot of similarities in my M. I wish my H read this, it would help him to understand that our situation is not unique and there are ways to improve and even to renew the M. According to the author there are 6 stages of a relationship. I think we almost made it to the last stage, which is called Renewing, and this when the couple “have come full circle”.

[Shiss]

Thanks BF, is it worth it if your spouse will only talk about D and not R?

[mrtwopointfour]

Hi shiss, my W only ever talks in D terms, although today it was called S. Read all the books you can, even if they are not targeted at your sitch there is always something relevant. no one book will be the solution, and every author states in their book about it not being the 'magic bullet', but knowledge is everything. And the way I look at it, although I can't see beyond my W now, reading about these things will help me have a better R with somebody new if that's the way things turn out.