T, I know that even though we read about and try to understand affairs and we see that our spouses are lost, it still is so very hard to get your mind around and it still hurts to your core.
I think the fact that your h had a pretty damn good life and is now risking it all shows clearly that he is in crisis.
I have suffered from depression at different times during my life. And unless someone has, it is difficult to understand how it affects you. It is like you are trying to swim in tar. And you keep trying to grab a hold onto something that will save you and keep you from going under.
You are desperate for a life preserver. But in that altered state, you cannot see clearly to find one. Those who suffer a Midlife crisis, often dont have the coping mechanisms and the skills needed to navigate through it. They flail around, their thoughts scattered, trying to figure it all out. Looking for the quickest and easiest fix - often times the opposite of what their life is now.
So, I am not at all surprised by his questions. His brain is a scrambled egg.
My xh forgot how old our son was. I kid you not. And I am talking about being off by several years. Scary. And sometimes funny. One time, he asked me what kind of car I drove. "Um, the same one I have driven for the last 3 years. "Oh, it looks different."
And the cuckoo continued flying around the clock. LOL!
