First Post--2d troubled marriage

[2X Divorcee?]

So here are her reasons for the D....from emails and conversations...notice the change as time passed.

email 1--Hey, how are you? Good here, but crazy busy. Work is out of control but good and the girls are busy in soccer, piano, horses, track and school.

email 2 (same day) We haven't talked since last Friday and I don't know when we really have the time. But we may need to. I'm not sure you know the seriousness of this. You said you have felt the disconnect too and I have been feeling it a long while. It's not going to get any better. It will get worse. Neither of us did anything wrong....just life and timing and distance got in the way. At the end of the day, we are too disjointed and separate to make this work.

email 3 (a day later) I wish things could have been different and I want you to know how wonderful I think u are, but at this point it's not possible to fix this. I am very sorry. You deserve so much more and I'm sorry I can't do that. It's been just me and the girls for so long that they come first and I have nothing left over for u. Please understand


So, I planned to take the D papers to her on my next trip home...Dad was in the hospital and I needed to be there too.
With my DB coaches advice, I let her know I was comming about 3 weeks prior and I told her:
"right now I'm just giving you space but I'm not giving up
This is your decision and I'll learn to be comfortable with it
But I'm not running away I want us to be together and I'm here to support you now as a friend if you need it"


She didn't let me stay in the house but we chatted the night before I gave here the papers (btw, there are still some other papers I have to provide). In that conversation she starts to say the following reasons for the D...

Reasons included decision to take assignment vs retire and be together; No blending of the family before the wedding (I disagree--vacations/outings a plenty)--"but that was her decision"; Engagement, deployment, wedding all happened so fast no time to reconsider; waiting for that 5:00 phone call...eventually I didn't care; Even if decisions were different, "it wouldn't have been enough"/"there would have been something else".