Harder and harder

[Positivespin]

Walking and walking and walking............

Losing weight is so easy. Wife will be home the next three nights. More awkward time, more confusion for my little girl.

had the first communication with my wife today- I think just under the 100 hour mark- She wrote to tell me that she dropped the price of the house again.

Just 30 days ago we had a amazing family vacation together. then "POOF"

Im a doormat until the house is sold- but at least Im in the comfy bed.....

[LBH_LC]

I can relate. People are eager for things to get back "normal," or in the LBS's case, the new normal. I don't feel like I have the support I did at the beginning. That's okay though. It's forcing me to be stronger.

Cleaning can be really therapeutic, can't it? After my BD, I cleaned the HELL out of our townhouse.

[Positivespin]

Please help

My wife is back in the house the next three night. She stated that one of the reasons why she left and is having the affair is because we grew apart. She is actively having the affair. A 180 would be to spend more time with her-but that's persuing........any suggestions?

[Positivespin]

I took a step backwards and paid for it emotionally last night

There was a piece of paper with her handwriting on it. I looked. She was getting prices for utility services and it had a home address on it.

another nick to the heart. Its been a month since I snooped and I didnt even go out of my way for this

she got undressed in front of me this morning- Im in the dreaded safe friend zone

[PatientMan]

I wouldn't worry about any of that, because that stuff doesn't bother you. Right?!

Positive spin #1: friend is better than enemy
Positive spin #2: you got to see an attractive woman naked

[Positivespin]

Two positive steps (Patientman- thanks for the "180"- that was cool of you - much appreciated)

Two 180's recognized by my wife.

The first was a few days/week ago- I cant believe how clean the house is. I cant believe it

THEN Last night I went shopping for properly fitting clothes last night (Ive lost 46 lbs since the BD). before I always wore baggy with a belt.
After buying the clothes I brought them home and tried them on- I was almost too self conscience to wear them today....

Well- lets 180!. Im wearing them today and my wife saw me in them and started giggling like a schoolgirl " WOW have you lost alot of weight- you look real good!". - and all i said was "THANK YOU" nothing else

I am beginning to learn something that all you wise DB'ers prob know but cant share or we dont understand because we are in the funk- when your self esteem rises detaching gets a little easier

I shall learn the ways of the DB jedimasters!:)

[Positivespin]

What a great weekend...

I got to watch my wife get ready, then leave for her date with the OM.- THAT HURT!!!!!

I recovered by helping my friend in need then going shopping with my daughter- She DUG the "pink ice cream shake" when she and I went out to lunch.

Its my daughter and I for the next three days- THANK GOD!

This is ALOT of pain when your still in love. It is easy to see why some just jump straight to the lawyer.

I can give her all the space in the world and she is having the time of her life........for 4 days a week she doesnt have a daughter. Concerts? Sure, Brunch? absolutely, Dinner? Shell meet you at 7.

My new "best part of all this"- I get to spend my next weekend doing yardwork around the house that I still love and she cant wait to get rid of and is looking to dispose of as quickly as possible. How depressing is that?

This is what happens when one spouse shatters the glass

[Positivespin]

Its raining-

Amazing how the weather can bring you down- not depressed, just more difficult to be optimistic.....Optimism just feels like it weighs more today

Tonight I shall cook for my little girl. My body feels weird. Its been going through alot of changes (weight loss, muscle build and stress) I shall research whats best way to give it a rest.

Wife out again tonight- Thank god! She will be at the house wed/ Thur and return Sun/ Mon. I try, but its hard to talk to her at this point. If my wife initiates the conversation we will converse. I am upbeat and dont blabber on or beg like I used too.

There is NO talk of R. Its VERY HARD when she comes in acting like its just matter of fact- she just "changed her mind" about us- like changing her mind about a outfit she may have purchased.

A couple of things im learning-

1) My mind is playing games. Its been telling me that I need to make sure she knows I love her and will forgive her- Its hard not to trust your "gut instinct" but I understand that DB is counter intuitive and that my "Gut" isnt an expert.

2)I find myself using the word "Home". Thanks to everyone elses's threads Im re-programming my head to understand that "Home" is where my D will be and I will be using the word "House" moving forward.

[Positivespin]

********I JUST RECEIVED WORD THAT I PASSED MY PROFESSIONAL CERTIFICATION*******************

1.5 years of my life, almost 5,000 pages of text, 4 proctored exams, 1 final paper

The #1 reason my wife gave me for the reason why she was leaving- The depression caused by the stress of this process

The plan was that we were going to sell the house and I would look for a job overseas. My wife has always loved overseas travel and this would be our opportunity to see the world in a VERY different way.

This is a VERY bittersweet day- But I shall celebrate with my daughter!

[PatientMan]

A couple of things im learning-

1) My mind is playing games. Its been telling me that I need to make sure she knows I love her and will forgive her- Its hard not to trust your "gut instinct" but I understand that DB is counter intuitive and that my "Gut" isnt an expert.

Excellent! I know it's tough to ignore, but don't act on this feeling!