Amazing how the weather can bring you down- not depressed, just more difficult to be optimistic.....Optimism just feels like it weighs more today
Tonight I shall cook for my little girl. My body feels weird. Its been going through alot of changes (weight loss, muscle build and stress) I shall research whats best way to give it a rest.
Wife out again tonight- Thank god! She will be at the house wed/ Thur and return Sun/ Mon. I try, but its hard to talk to her at this point. If my wife initiates the conversation we will converse. I am upbeat and dont blabber on or beg like I used too.
There is NO talk of R. Its VERY HARD when she comes in acting like its just matter of fact- she just "changed her mind" about us- like changing her mind about a outfit she may have purchased.
A couple of things im learning-
1) My mind is playing games. Its been telling me that I need to make sure she knows I love her and will forgive her- Its hard not to trust your "gut instinct" but I understand that DB is counter intuitive and that my "Gut" isnt an expert.
2)I find myself using the word "Home". Thanks to everyone elses's threads Im re-programming my head to understand that "Home" is where my D will be and I will be using the word "House" moving forward.
ME 38 W 37 T18 M5 D3 BD 1/7/13 PA Conf 2/11/13- Ongoing 2nd simultaneous affair Confirmed 4/19/13 W gets APT and begins transition out 5/29/13 First mediation appt 12/19/13
