My partner and I have been together for over 8yrs. Our R has always been “easy”. We have never had any huge arguments or fights, the odd disagreement maybe but that is only normal in any R.
There's a book that gets referred to around here sometimes (sorry but I can't remember the name), I haven't read it but it offers the premise that "easy" relationships that never have arguments are doomed. All I can say is that my M was much like yours, we also rarely argued, we trusted each other, and everything seemed to be going really smoothly right up until BD.
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He is both my love and my best friend.
I felt the same way about my W. All these months later I can now see how tremendously codependent I was on her. It was bad for me, and it was bad for her. There's a book called "Codependent No More" that addresses this in detail.
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Over the past couple of months I have followed the DB way the best that I could. I haven’t put any pressure on H, have been the best M that I could be. Not mentioned our R or his with OW.
Good. I know he hasn't offered you much for you to do 180's on, but try to think of any complaints he's had in the past and do 180's on those.
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The 25th of March H says he can’t lie to me any more, that he has continued to see OW and that he loves her.
He's still in the puppy love stage, it may wear off. Just work on yourself and give him time and space.
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H has not spoken about this to any of our friends, who were his friends first, or his family.
That's actually pretty common. My W and I had been separated for months when she sent out a Christmas letter that made it sound like we were still one big happy family. WAS's do strange things.
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It would be sooo much easier is I hated him, but I don’t
That's actually a VERY good thing. Because hate and anger come from a place of pain, and if you mask the pain with hate and anger it takes you much longer to process the pain and recover.
