Hello and welcome, sorry you're going through this, especially with the increased complexity of your living arrangements
Originally Posted By: Rockwallaby
Living like this damaging our relationship, she often insults me and is unable to have a sensible constructive discussion without being derisory
That's often the case, many WAS's are kind, loving and supportive one day and literally overnight transform into uncaring at best; angry, vindictive and abusive at worst.
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I feel now that my only option is to have her out of the house so I can focus on improving me as a person, living my own life and being in a position to support my children. W has said the current situation is hell.
Often a separation brings healing, even if it doesn't heal the M it can heal much of the bitterness. I was in hell until my W moved out, I was surprised to find that even though the S was all about her, it brought me a lot of healing and recovery as well, maybe even more than it did W. W even told me she was jealous of my newfound confidence and stability when she herself still felt confused.
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I have made many mistakes and confided in family and friends about the situation.
That's OK, we all have backslides. From now on just tell them that you're both taking this time to sort things through and leave it at that.
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Is it too late to 180, should I let her stay and risk diluting my rights over S and D, or in worst case she leaves with them and I am stuck with house.
It's never too late for 180's, they are as much about improving ourselves as they are repairing the M. Regarding letting her stay, that's a choice you'll have to make on your own. If you do let her stay, then try and detach as much as you can. Give her time and space. Read DR, read Sandi's DB 180 tips (sticky at top of forum) and put those into practice.
