Since she moved out we've talked on the phone a few times (no R talk) and saw each other twice for a short time. All these interactions were initiated by her except for one call that I made to see how her doctor appt went.
Good, you're doing fine!
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We had good friendly conversation and a few laughs. No R talk or future talk although I did buy her roses (something I got out of the habit of doing years ago). She hugged me 3 separate times in the 2 hrs that we were together (something we used to do daily). These are especially nice to get now!
That's great, just don't have any expectations that the hugs mean anything. Just celebrate them internally as baby steps and keep on with your DB'ing.
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I'm assuming that I'm in LRT territory??? Should I be employing the "going dark" technique? I'm really afraid that she'll see it as the same old cold stuff.
Michele warns in DR that if you were cold and distant in the M, then going dark will just be "more of the same" behavior. So no, you shouldn't do that.
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I think I stumbled upon something bad. I was going through my wife and my phone bill and I noticed a recurring phone number. This person has called my wife several times (even several times a day)and they talked for up to 2 hrs. Including midnight calls. I'm devastated at what seems to be obvious.
My W did this too, but it wasn't an OM, it was an enabler friend of hers that was going through a D. WAS's often pick up an enabler or two to help them "decide" what to do.
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Do you suggest that I ask my wife about the number?
No. It's pressure, and can also appear as controlling and manipulative.
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In order for me to stay sane I have to know the truth.
I didn't like not knowing, so I just assumed that my W was in an A. To this day I don't know if she was or not, but by assuming she was it allowed me to more fully detach and focus on me.
