He's here at night snuggled up with the Boys watching bball, how in the world do I detach from that!
What does "detachment" mean to you? It's not being cold and indifferent, it's being in control of yourself. It's not reacting to every little thing your H does or says. It's pulling back and giving him space.
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what the heck is he doing/thinking?
He's confused and trying to figure out what he really wants. That's why you have to remove all pressure from him. Pressure will push him away. Remove pressure and he will sort it through on his own.
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Does he want this life or not?
He doesn't know. That's why he keeps coming back and testing it, he's trying to figure that out. It's going to take him months to sort it out.
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I feel fortunate that he's not asking to take the kids away, or for me to leave, but that's the problem too, he's not asking or saying anything!!
Good, that's actually a good place to be. Just be satisfied with that. DO NOT pressure him with R or M talks. Just leave him be. Get DR and read it ASAP. Read Sandi's 180 tips as well (sticky at top of forum).
