Something I meant to reflect on last night in my post... and any newcomers to the boards feel free to take it for what you think it's worth...
A year ago I felt like my life was falling apart around me. I can remember so vividly turning the car around and going back home to confront my W. Hearing those words. Talking for a while. Feeling that hug (I believe it may have been the last hug she ever gave me) and remembering how much it felt like a goodbye hug. The drive to an EAP counselor. Getting the book. The chaos of my life thereafter.
And yet here it is one year later. My life is good. No, not great, not yet. But good. I had more fun this past weekend than I had in many weekends while we were together near the end. I remember the pain I was in leading up to the bomb drop. That's no way to live. No matter how bad you think it will be, it will get better.
I went to sleep last night. No sleep aids... slept all night. Got up and gave my S lots of hugs and kisses since I won't see him until Wednesday. Went to work. All the things that make life, life.
It's different than it was. There are times it still really hurts. It's hard to watch the WAS struggle. Heck she called today to see if I had sent the child support check as she forgot about her car payment and literally had no money for food until Friday. But life is better. It will get better. Have faith. Be strong. Look forward. Be you.
Married 6 together 8 Me:38 W:31 second marriage for both SS12, SD10, S6 Bomb: 9/8/11 (day before our 5 yr ann) W moved out: 2/18/12 D final: 11/12/12 Share S 50/50. Spend as much time as I can with SS & SD
WHG this is what I have been trying to share with everyone on this board. The day I stopped my sleep aids was a turning point in my sitch, although I do hate to see my ex struggle with money and so on, and now I don't even cringe when I see her calling me, in fact I hardly ever answer on the first call and believe me that was a big step for me. So as time goes by it does get somewhat better, for me I have found that I will be OK , its not the plan I wanted (yes I read your earlier post) but its the plan I have been dealt and will keep a PMA to make it better. So keep on posting..
