Think about it. When you were a kid and were playing on the playground, did you want to play with the kid who always had to be the boss?
My oldest is like this. It's funny. I hear myself talking to her about her behavior and thinking about others and when I'm finished imparting to her my "nugget of wisdom", I realize that I need to heed my own advice! lol
LOL.. please share your next advice on my thread. I believe I just stood up for myself and feel weird. This may not be DB'ing to save my rel'p, but I cannot be a doormat anymore!
M:46 H:49 T:20yrs myD:22 H distant summer/12 H sleeping in b'ment: Nov/12 BD: Dec 2/12 asked me begin to move end of Jan/13 moved Jan 7/13 (left my stuff) "agreed" to "working on r" Mar 3/13(lipservice!)
WFM, I didn't post anything to your thread. It looks like you have plenty of activity over there to keep you busy. I hope things are going better for you!
Got home from my latest trip. Got the kids off to school. I've been up all night traveling.
Heard a pretty big crash from up in our MBR. Went up to check, only to find my wife still in bed. Her iPad is on the night stand, so I surmise that she was on the iPad, dropped it on the floor, and when I came up to see what had happened, she avoided any contact with me, acting as though asleep. She had herself so buried in blankets, I couldn't tell she was there until I got right up to her. I said something to her and she mumbled an unintelligible reply, never even turning towards me. She's still in bed and it's 10am.
She still continually carries her iPhone and/or ipad with her wherever she goes in the house. Always texting or talking to someone. On some days, she will talk easily with me. On others, it seems like she's avoiding me.
I'm staying on course. Gonna take care of me today. It's gonna be around 70 degrees. I'll pull out the patio furniture and enjoy the weather.
I'm pretty sure that today the Ducati is gonna stretch its legs!
tx P2, but I still look forward to hearing from you.
in reading your post, is it possible that she was sleeping, and whacked her ipad onto the floor, picked it up and buried herself under the blankets not ready to deal with the world yet? Yes, It's 10am and I basically just got up too. Since h isn't around to monitor my sleeping habits... I sneak a few extra zzz's and pretend that I am working. I had a rotten nights sleep, and added in 2 very bad dreams. One about h reconnecting with his ex-gf and the other about my old close boyfriend dying. UGH!
I am quite attached to my phone...texting, etc. This used to bother my h. Now he does it too, bothers me. LOL. We need old school rotary dial phones with long extension cords to the closet. That would SOLVE A LOT! LOL
Stay on course... U continue to inspire me. I think it might rain here, jealous of your Ducati ride... just working away, hoping to catch a few sales to ease our sitch more (take pressure off).
M:46 H:49 T:20yrs myD:22 H distant summer/12 H sleeping in b'ment: Nov/12 BD: Dec 2/12 asked me begin to move end of Jan/13 moved Jan 7/13 (left my stuff) "agreed" to "working on r" Mar 3/13(lipservice!)
She still continually carries her iPhone and/or ipad with her wherever she goes in the house
My W is the same, since BD I have not seen her phone left anywhere. It's always on her, think its because she thinks I will snoop. She even has a pass code now never had one of those on her phone all the time I have known her. I have to be honest though I always carry my phone now, as otherwise she may find a browser window open to here!
Me: 38 W: 35 M: 9Yrs T: 15Yrs S8 D5 BD: Feb 13 Still Living Together
I feel like I'm in thick forest, I'm slowly drawing a map of the way out, but not sure yet which side of the forest I will emerge.
M:46 H:49 T:20yrs myD:22 H distant summer/12 H sleeping in b'ment: Nov/12 BD: Dec 2/12 asked me begin to move end of Jan/13 moved Jan 7/13 (left my stuff) "agreed" to "working on r" Mar 3/13(lipservice!)
My wife finally pried herself out of bed. I asked her what the big crash was. It was her iPad hitting the hardwood floor. She said she didn't have her iPhone with her, so was checking something on it instead. That tells me she was awake. She was just avoiding me.
She's gone now. I think I talked to her a total of 10 minutes. She's off to visit a close, elderly friend of ours. She avoided all physical contact with me. Didn't say goodbye when she left. She's acting like even less than a roommate. More like a roommate with whom she has had a falling out, but is still stuck in the lease.
She didn't even volunteer to tell me anything about the two bears she found on our doorstep while I was gone. I saw paw prints all over the windows to the back of our house. I asked her about them and then she told me the story. You would think she would have texted or said something about it. That's how she is now. I am not a part of her social circle any more. Kinda s*cks!
The latest skirmish we had was over money. I've said before that my wife is hyper sensitive about money. It doesn't really matter why. She just is.
I spent money on DB coaching without consulting her. I told her about the charge before it appeared. I told her what it was for... coaching. She felt it was a waste. I could get counseling at a much lower out of pocket cost. I could also gain what I was looking for through books.
Well, I was going through credit card records and found a $550 charge at a plastic surgeon's business. She had told me she was going there for a facial and that it was going to be $50. I asked her if she knew about the charge. She did. I asked her what it was for. She declined to tell me. I asked her a couple of times again to tell me what it was for. She then told me she was beginning to get angry. She mentioned me not talking to her about spending money and stated that she was just doing the same. I told her OK, and said goodbye. I later apologized for not consulting with her first (I must admit that my not consulting her was a break of one of my 180's), and that I would cancel my purchase. I received a text reply of, "OK. Thx".
It seems that she is now retaliating for things that she deems are an offense to her. She also has started to resort to anger to get her way. "He who is most angry wins" is something to be avoided, I was told by my coach.
I won't play that game with her. Everyone loses.
Maybe she is having a down period. I know that this is another opportunity for me to choose how I am going to be. I must remind myself that my glass is 75% full.
2.4, I don't know if my wife has a passcode on her phone. I don't think she does. I will not allow myself to access it. When she asks me to pull something up on it, I just hand it to her.
I have passcodes on my ipad and iPhone. The used to be a common passcode with hers. I changed them a while ago. One day when our kids were asking to use my phone, I told them what the code was in front of her. She seemed very offended that I had changed it. More proof to her that I couldn't be trusted anymore. I guess I must have been hiding something. I was. I didn't want her reading all this stuff.
P2... u did break one of your own rules, but does she have total free willl to spend whatever she wants...lucky girl! Fyi, $550 for a facial is a bit much, she probably had an injection or botox!
M:46 H:49 T:20yrs myD:22 H distant summer/12 H sleeping in b'ment: Nov/12 BD: Dec 2/12 asked me begin to move end of Jan/13 moved Jan 7/13 (left my stuff) "agreed" to "working on r" Mar 3/13(lipservice!)
