Mana, Mana! Doo Doo Doo Doo Doo! Part 2

[Tallula]

Tallula, I signed up for a 5K in one month and I haven't run or jogged in over a year. What should I do? Help! My fallback option is just walk in the 5K when I need to, but I'd kind of like to get back to my old time, which is a hair under 40 minutes. I'm short so I'm slow.

How are you doing today?

Google "couch to 5k" It is an interval training program that is 6 weeks long. It is to get you from literally laying on the couch, to running a 5k. Since you are not, in fact, laying around on the couch, you should be good. I have worked about 10 moms through this who never ran...4 have now ran half marathons!!! The others still run 5ks, several are running one with me on saturday. You'll do great!!

I'm great, actually. The longer NC goes on, the better I feel. S4 was discussing his birthday party, which is a year away :), and was listing all the people that he wants to come. Then he goes "Oh, MY DAD!! But he lives far away." I told him that of course his dad will come because he loves him so much!! The cool part...no pang of hurt in my heart. No "But maybe..." Just calm. This [censored], I hate it for my kids, but it's the right thing for me. I texted H a pic of the kids and said I'd have them call him tonight to chat and say goodnight. He responded that that was really cool and thoughtful. I thought, yes H, those are the words I would use to describe me. LOL. I didn't respond further.

Journal:

I will say that I am dealing with some anger at him. But using it as a shield...thanks guys!! After talking with my friend, and really getting away from him and his manipulative emotional blackmail...I can really see the sitch. He only told me about OW because her XH was going to tell me. Then sat around and tried to figure out who would be the best option for his MAIN cake. He tried me on again, until I set the transparency boundaries. Now he is trying to keep both OW and myself on the hook, while starting with the nurse. He is a liar. I will no longer listen to words, only watch his actions. I'm mad. But, realistic. He is here to stay, but I will no longer allow myself to be pulled in by him.

I'm not an option anymore. I don't think he gets it yet. I think things may get nasty once he really sees that. I'm telling people that we are separated, now I can truly get all the support I need. No more pretending. With each person I tell, another brick is pulled off of me. I can breathe. It feels amazing!