When he said "I feel like I have no choice," what else might you have said back? Have you ever felt like you had no choice but to do something hurtful? It's a rotten feeling. You might have left it with that, maybe a comment like, "that must be very hard, to feel like you have no choice."

I have struggled with hearing my H when he speaks, because I would like to open his eyes with my response so he sees the right thing. All he hears when I do that is how wrong I am, to him. To him, he was already right, so my comeback does me no good. At least an understanding comment might leave him thinking, am I as right as I thought?

Only the thoughts that come from his own understanding are going to sway him. Not the ones you try to tell him.

Adinva 51, S20, S18
M24 total
6/15/11-12/1/12 From IDLY to H moving out
9/15/15-3/7/17 From negotiating SA to final D at age 50
5/8/17-now: New relationship with an old friend
__
Happiness is a warm puppy.