Divorced-not done-But wondering ?

[JJAC2005]

A few months before I even heard of DB's I was looking at various connections with thoughts and behaviors of people effected by personality disorders. I am a former counselor for an in-patient mental health facility and it just made sense to me to look deeper into the connections between the way my wife (ex) and I viewed things and what she said, and how she ended things the way she did in the end.
That research eventually led me to a few articles online at Psychology Today about Marry, Divorce, Reconcile....and since I was recently divorced, I was searching for all sorts of answers to the questions I had running thru my brain. The main thing I got out of that was that after reading DR, the woman in the article presented her findings to her husband (6 months post divorce), along with her rational for all of the why's and her sincere heartfelt apologizes for the way things had ended up the way that they did, and they eventually they began to piece and recover their R to the point were they remarried a year later.
Talk about inspired....wow...I thought to myself if they could do it I could do it. After-all, my situation wasn't even close to being as bad as theirs was...so ....that led me to about 80$ worth of books on marriage and relationships. The main one being Divorce Remedy...which led me to here and this site, and basically where I am today in my process.
Soon after that introduction I was given another inspirational book and story of reunification from a family member with a very different perspective, but with some similar underlying strategies. It was a story of a husband and wife reuniting after 7 years post divorce base on a deep Christian connection. The book was titled "I do Again" b Jeff and Cheryl and Jeff Scruggs.
As in the other situation, the woman presented her findings, as well as professions of change and desires for reconciliation....and eventually it did happen, it just went a lot longer time frame.

So where am I going with this you might be thinking....
I basically did some similar blends of both examples as well as following the advice of my DB coach (Jody is great BTW, however, in my letter to my ex, I only released my own faults and responsibilities and gave her the acceptance that it was over.
I have never begged her to come back or be taken back, but I in the beginning, have asked to at least be friendly and have a few chances to talk about things...as well as see the children....all of which have been denied, and met with a lot of anger as well as a "let me make this perfectly clear" response from her for me to move on, and leave her and the children alone.

I am in a place now where I am working daily on my GAL, my 180's, my health, ect. and trying to stay hopeful, and basically things are going along pretty well for me on the outside.....on the inside I still have my days, and my demons, and I still miss my family.

The advice I have gotten and for the most part followed, from DB is keep a low profile, minimal to no contact, and make myself better in every way I can...
I just received a reply back from a question i had in the church ministries approach to things and they suggested I write my ex another heartfelt letter, addressing all of my faults, my shortcomings and to express my desires to restore our marriage.

My gut told me that I basically did a little of that already, just that I didn't let it be known to my ex that I am still holding any hope for us.

I wanted to start writing another letter almost immediately, and had visions of her reading it with some sort of positive return....hey, remember I have 2 positive stories from above where it worked...but I'm a realist and I know the odds of that are slim to none, and it probably would produce even more distance since I now know she is moved to a more serious stage in her new relationship.

so..part of this post is venting, part of it is fishing for thoughts and advice on my situation.
Thanks guys!