M: 9 yrs T: 13 yrs H:34 Me:35, S4, D2, S 7 months Dday 11/12-PA & multiple PAs Dbing 12/12 S 1/13 7/13 H moved back in basement. 8/13 #3 born 10/13 still cheating 10/13 He moves across country, I file for D
*snort* That was pretty funny...I'm like, wait, H hasn't been horrendous...Oooohhhh...lol
Seriously though, I got the gist, and totally understand. I am working towards this as well, I know I am. But in my own time. Good for you for getting to this place Tally
So, after the weekend's long talk, we decided to move forward as friends etc. Talking with H yesterday and he said he was tired. I suggested a physical, since he has been tired for a while. He said it was the getting up at 1:30 am each day to Skype GF (time difference)!!! Although that was a shot I just texted back LOL! Then I have no sympathy, with a smiley face. He then texted back but that's done. And when I texted ?, he felt it necessary to explain that he set the schedule this week and he would talk only three times because he was busy otherwise blah blah blah. Why he felt it necessary to explain that is really beyond my scope. I just wrote "I am glad work is going so well for you". I really see the pattern of pleasing people still emerging in H. He is tired, but still will get up at 1:30 am to skype GF. He always pushed down his needs and resented it in our marriage.
This indicates he hasn't worked as much as he has thought, since patterns are emerging again that are very familiar. But of course, the behaviours in his current R will lead to different responses since she is not me, so who knows?
Yesterday I changed profile pic on FB and since we have mutual friends he saw it and said "Seriously Ruby, that is a great pic" and went on to say "Don't look like that on X day, when we have activity planned" which led to a bit of text flirting etc. When it was going so well for what? 24 hrs.
This activity is kind of a last hurrah. I said I had wanted to do it as a kind of good bye. Won't get into detail...involves nothing "physical" lol, but H mentioned what I had said about it last night and I said yup. He then texted something that indicated that it wouldn't be good bye......
Also was invited for an activity with him and D this weekend, though don't know if I will go or not. I said sounded good, but left it open.
Obviously need to turn Whack a Husband on myself, because I seem to be popping up out of different holes too...lol
Kids- spoke to both D and S last night, listened about their days, texted S funny comic.
H goal- I have been controlling in subtle ways...that has to stop. For instance, was in town and texted we were going (D and I ) said to H want to meet for coffee? He said I have errands, you just enjoy. I said I will text anyway, and if you are around you can join us.
I didn't accept his response and only focused on my wants. So I texted back and apologized for not listening to what he said and encouraged him to have a good day. He replied that it was all good and thanks for letting him know we were going to be there. I said that I had thought it would be crappy to be in town with D and not let him know, that's why I texted in the first place.
He agreed and said that he was just warning us that he may not be around. So I said that is cool and I will leave it in your court.
He ended up not meeting us, he hadn't been feeling well (man cold) I asked if he wanted anything since we were out in shops...he said no, so I said hope you feel better, have a good night
So, I look at this and I still see manipulation on my part. I am going to be a little more aware of my behaviours and why they are occurring. I really don't like that about myself.
Maybe when GF comes back I can get myself out of this loop.
haha, I'm down with the FML and laughing, too. Yesterday I was at the bookstore and saw a book called F*ck it Therapy. Something about profanity being the way to happiness! I think I will look that book up and see what it's all about. FML!
M 48 W 40 D13, D10, D6 Together 23 years Married 16 years Separated 3/15/2013 Bomb Day 4/3/2013
Just bought tickets to a guy whose music I adore. Bought two..if I cannot find an adult to go with (bestie is away) (lol) will take D...in August. Ya never know what the future has in store
I am not not doing these things simply because I am alone
Good for you IO. Thats the way to do it. We do things whether or not we are on our own or not. If I waited to not be alone, I wouldn't have left the house for the last three years! lol
TPS Me: 44 H: 42 M14 T17 S10 D7 10/10 H moves out after death of his father-same month 21/04/12 H is 'DONE' 04/05/12 OW/PA confirmed (rumors from 2010) July '14 H ends affair May '15 H moves back home
