Bomb dropped on me last week

[JMax]

I should also probably add that last summer, there were a lot of things that contributed to me going into depression: I was concerned about debt, about income, about quitting my job and starting a new one in a new business in an unfamiliar area, my wife was experienced in this area and I wasn't...

But here are the things that really put me over the edge: During this time period, my wife started taking vyvanse for her ADHD. She got irritable (she said the vyvanse makes her slightly less patient). The vyvanse made her lose appetite and she lost a lot of weight. She got an entirely new wardrobe and started spending a lot of time on her looks. Her personality started to change too - she became abrupt, cold, and egotistical. She was very concerned about creating and maintaining independence.

At the same time, she moved into a new office in anticipation of our new business starting in a couple months. She started spending a lot of time with a particular guy that was showing her a lot about a different area of law. It was very beneficial to her career, but I had a problem with the amount of time they were spending together and the depth of their sudden friendship. I tried to voice my concerns but I didn't do it well at all. I was angry. As the argument started spiraling out of control, I became accusatory and called her all sorts of names. I'm pretty sure we were both drunk at the time, which didn't help matters.

She responded angrily and wouldn't consider backing off a bit from the friendship. She wouldn't even talk about it. I blew up and threatened to leave. This caused us a lot of problems and this is why our business together never had a chance. Because I had a problem with the guy, she didn't want me to go near the new office, instead I worked from home.

Sitting here today, I don't believe anything inappropriate was going on between them, but that was never my point. My point was: I am not comfortable with my wife spending 30 hours a week with another man. Going out of town overnight, working on cases, etc. It might not have been an affair, but that's the way affairs begin. She could never understand my feelings and felt defensive and that I didn't trust her. She resented me for trying to be controlling and pressure her.

Maybe if we could have discussed it, she could have eased my fears, but as it was... it led to argument after argument.

Anyway, that's probably the main trigger for me going into a months-long depression. During that time, I could not function: I ruminated, I couldn't sleep, couldn't think, my reasoning skills were shot. I couldn't trust my own logic and making even routine decisions were impossible. I was paralyzed.