DR often advocates these because when BD happens, we do tend to fall back on either the begging and pleading or the typical behaviours that defined our relationships and caused the problems in the first place.
Your H has to trust your changes this time around. It's been 7 months and H still doesn't trust mine. We are separated, he has a GF, whom he says he is serious about. I said that I would want him to be happy, but he is still waiting for the other shoe to drop. So, even though a couple times the old IO emerged I have been on this new 180 course fairly steadily. But he still doesn't believe-even though he will remark how much I have changed. It takes a long time for the belief to settle in.
