NILWY - There is this "chemistry" b/w us

[Kim65]

Today I've spent packing up some of my things and shopping for new bits and pieces for when I move out into a unit. If nothing else it's kept mind occupied and have felt like I've done something for me. I also feel as though it's helping me move forward as much as it hurts to do so. It may even send a message to H that this is the case when he comes home. 'as if' I suppose is the way I want him to see M now.

I still drive myself insane trying to think "what was is that caused this" even though H has told me that it's nothing that I've done....

I'll have to admit that over the last few years I've been very busy with work. I'm a nurse and was working 3 and a half days a week as well as that I'm a remedial massage therapist and had been working 3 evenings a week from home. Not only that during the AFL football season I was the head trainer, taping the players, caring for them if they got injured ect, for a footy club for 6 years. That took up 7 months of the year with training night x1 per week and 10 to 12 hrs on game days. H was involved as well with the footy, we'd work together and was a common interest that we had and enjoyed together. Towards the end of last season I think we both had had enough. As a result I know our sex life suffered as I was often just to tired and not in the mood!!

H has said several times that all of this has had nothing to do with our sitch. I wonder though.... I'm sure that the attention that I know that she must of been giving him has had to play a part??

I have completely done a 180 on all of this and now only work at the clinic, now 4 days instead of the 3 and a half. I realize now how thin I had spread myself..... but it seems to be all to late??