if she does decide to leave, it'll be at a point in our R when I have stronger feelings for her than at perhaps any other point in our R.
You've heard of WAW "script"? Well, LBH's have their script, too. Of course you have stronger feelings for her now more than any other point in the R! That seems to be common place when you are scared your S is leaving you. Your feelings didn't jump into high gear due to how loving your W has been to you, but rather out of fear of losing her.
I know you're trying hard......in what you see as winning her back, but you are doing things FOR her and you are EXPECTING something in return. That's not DBing. Plus, she won't respect you but will take advantage instead. And that's exactly what happened.
I strongly suggest you get your focus off her and what all you can do that will cause her to feel and act differently. And face it...that is exactly what you were doing. I have never seen it work out when a man tried it that way. If you persist, you will be getting more hurt headed your way.
So, stop trying to make brownie points with her and just focus on you. You are doi g nearly everything for the kids and housework to free her up. Why not leave the kids with her while you go out? I know, you were trying to give her space, but she just want space from you...so leave the kids with her to cook for for them and whatever is required while you have a day, night, or weekend away.
She has already spotted you for a tail kisser, so you've got to step way, way back from that, so, GAL, and start being the man you will be with or without her. But, never have expectations of what she will think or do in response to how you live your life, and if you do her any favors, do not set yourself up for disappointment/anger by having any expectation.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
