1) Go a whole week without any negative exchanges with wife.
She has calmed down now and is more patient with me and our out of control D3. Wife is very loving and caring and has been more caring of my emotional needs. We now never have negative int eractions. Even when I slip on things she mentioned she didnt like about me, she is still calm, and reminds me with a smile.
2) Compliment her whenever it is genuine.
She doesnt dismiss compliments anymore and acknowkedges them.
3) Get to a position where wife accepts or seeks physical touch from me.
She mentions her neck is tense and then when I ask her if ivshould rub it for her, she says that would be nice. She used to say no.
4) Wife will display physical affection unprovoked.
She has given ne a hug unsolicited. She has also rubbed my back cssually while we chatted.
5) wife will show a sign of us being a family.
She is talking about us, how WE can pay down our debt, what WE can do for D3 to build a nice back yard for her, what we can do together. The other night I was invited to a house warming but conplained to wife that I was tired and didnt feel like going. She encouraged me to go, and said D3 and i will be fine at home...and we will be here waiting for you when you get home. Well D3 will be asleep, but I will be here waiting.
Everything is going perfectly except she is still going to stay with OM. Her best friend told me that OM who is still unemployed, might be getting custody of his son and wufe admitted she did not think D3 should ever be a part of that. My coach had mentioned before that usually the cheater will glorify OM, and portray them as good with kids and a perfect step dad for her kids. Wife took D3 out with OM one time in the first week and then admitted to me his bad with kids and could not connect witg our dsughter.
Also initially she told her mother thst if i asked her to leave the house, she would move iin with OM. But she recently told her best friend she would move in with her mom.
Her friend also told me wife complained that there is no trust between her and OM. Surprise surprise, a cheating wife and a broken man who pursurs married women and there is no trust?
Thry already hsd a fight over snooping in each others phones. OMs ex wife is pursuing him now and sends him explicit messages and wife doesnt believe he is not responding becsude he deletes there conversations all the time. OM is mad at wife because her messaging with me is too friendly.
She is now telling her friends she loves OM, but not s life long kind of love. So basically it is what we consider an infatuation that is wearing thin now that his true self is coming out, not his representative.
But she still goes to stay with him. Its like the mlc person who just wants to spend time with someone who is more broken than themselves so they hsve someone who needs them and idolizes them. Like a damsel in distress. He id depressed now because of his job and his failed marriage, and his kids etc. And I think its comforting for her to be his saviour. She feels needed and wanted.
She initiates contact all day when she is home snd I am at work, and maybe 3 or 4 times a day when she is with him.
I think she might be realizing that relationship is what it is, but hesitsnt to end it becsuse it is fun and an escape....and an addiction.
What do I do now? Or intersctions are better thsn most married people, but not much moves to reconcilliation.
What can be new goals? Where can i go from here? I need to schedule cosching session soon.
Me, H-34 now 38 W-32 now 35 T-13 now 18 years M-6 now 9 Daughter 3 years now 7 Bomb 11/27/12 - OM 1 year in house separation Reconciliation 12/2013. Healed now 2017
