Is this MLC or WAS? Don't know what to do...

[BrightFuture]

I haven’t been posting anything recently, even though I’ve been reading the posts and lots of stories from the archives. I haven’t posted about my sitch because I rarely get any response. It looks like journaling is not my thing, I’m not a writer. I mostly post to get some opinions and advise, but it seems that my sitch is not of interest on this board. I don’t know what I’m doing wrong. I posted on others topics before, but I hardly get any response on my.

Anyway, I will attempt to give a short update.

4 weeks ago we (my son and his friends) went to our condo in our vacation place and had a good time. My H moved out for 3 days we were there. I saw him 2 times during that time. He gave me a hug both times and he was very pleasant.

2 weeks ago I went to our condo by myself. I called him to let him know that I was coming. I wanted to stay in our condo and thought he didn’t have any problems with this since he told me before that I could come over at any time. But, he moved out again and let me stay in the condo by myself. This time he was trying to avoid me, no hugs. Our friends there told me that he thought I came to attempt to reconcile with him, but he didn’t want it and he didn’t want to hurt me. I was surprised, because I didn’t give any indication that my intend was anything but to spend a couple of days over there by myself. The same friends also gave me some information about what my H was thinking recently. H said that he doesn’t file for D and do any other steps because he doesn’t like confrontation. And he also doesn’t want to do the same things to me as his Dad did to his Mom when they divorced when my H was 12. He said that he doesn’t understand why his Dad treated his Mom so badly, leaving her with no money, so all she could afford with 3 kids was rice and beans. This didn’t make sense to me, since I’m nowhere close to this situation. I make twice as much money as my H, and I don’t have little kids at home. Does this look like MLC and stuff from the childhood?

This past weekend H came to the city and stayed with his brother. We all participated in a race that was held this past weekend. The interactions with my H were kind of awkward at times. But I was confident and happy, and didn’t try to invade his space.

H asked me what time he could come over on Monday to sing the taxes, collect some papers and have a conversation. I told him to come over at around 10.

So, he came this morning and we had a long conversation about the business. He asked me if I wanted to do the D quickly or give it some more time. He was ready to start filling in the paper work on a legal website, he doesn’t want to use the lawyers. He is absolutely set on the D. He took all of his personal photo albums and some of his clothes. He told me that he was sorry for his weird behavior recently, but he was just very stressed about this matter – division of assets and proceeding with D. He told me once again that he wants to stay friends and attend our family gatherings. He said that he probably have 10 to 15 years to live (this went down from 15 to 20 years not so long ago.) This is due to him not feeling well recently, which is again due to the stress about our situation and drinking. We cleared some rumors and misunderstandings that came out as a result of us not taking directly to each other. We both were happy that we could finally talk openly about things. I assured him that I am not going to be unreasonable about division of our assets, even though we have some disagreements.
We didn’t finalize anything. He said that we will talk some more about it. But, he seems to be set firm on the D.

I did handle the whole conversation pretty well. I was not emotional, I tried to listen and validate him a couple of times. I was a bit tense though. I’m surprised that I didn’t fall apart after he left. I know I can make it without him, but deep down I think I still have feelings. I still don’t believe that he wants nothing to do with me except the friendship. He behaved so normal this morning. So, I am not so sure he is in MLC. There is no indication that he was missing me. I have no hope left. I could use some words of wisdom and support right. I feel so down.