Is it too soon to give up hope?

[2ndtimearoundCA]

So I have been dark for about a week. W has sent me texts about how she is prepping the house for her move and about how we can't afford divorce paperwork yet. I have not responded bc she did not ask a question. Recall that I am out of work until April. W emptied bank account and then sent a text asking me to tell her which bills I need help with. Previously she said that she would cover bills thru April. So I responded asking if she had changed her mind about the bills. She sad that we need to talk and it will be very difficult to work thru these details if I refuse to communicate.. What is happening here?

[2ndtimearoundCA]

I will be seeing w today for the first time in a week to discuss finances. We'll see how it goes. Doing my best to be happy and moving on with my life.

[Jeack]

Last time. she caught wind I was talking to a ex. Nothing at all what she thought. Ex caught wind i was single and was checking on me. Then her Mom started dating a guy that freaked her out when she moved back in with her mom. Called me to come over. And things just kinda went from there. But we never resolved our issues. I was just happy to be back. Which is why i'm in the same boat again.

[2ndtimearoundCA]

Oh yes I understand that. If you get a second chance you need to build a new relationship and definitely not do the same things as before. In my case, if w shows interest I will insist on counseling with a pro-marriage counselor. If she has moved, then I will suggest we stay apart during counseling and move slowly.

[2ndtimearoundCA]

I had an interesting talk with w on Wednesday. She was pretty emotional while I was able to stay calm. We mostly discussed splitting our stuff and money. I am not sure why she wanted an in-person meeting. She is obviously pretty upset by the relationship going bad but shows no signs that she would like it to work in the future. I am not sure if her emotions are about guilt or loss or both. She made a big deal about insisting that i not be there for her move. I don't want to be there, but it felt like maybe OM would be. She completely denies existence of OM. She did say that I looked great and that I was on the right track of getting my life together so that I could have a successful relationship with someone in the future - implying that it would not be her. Now she goes on vacation for a week with her mom and moves out the following week. We'll see.

[Jeack]

My W told me the same thing the other night. That she hopes I find someone else and that she doesn't want to talk about us because she feels bad. When my W moved out i left to. why would you want to watch that? You gotta detach and GAL. easier said than done. I still havent yet.

[2ndtimearoundCA]

W will return from her vacation tomorrow. The last exchange I had with her was when I had a moment of weakness and sent her text message. I wanted to avoid an awkward exchange before she left and she was leaving with her mom on a flight and I was not sure exactly the time so I stayed out of the house until I was sure she would be gone. I ended up sitting at an Irish pub drinking a Guinness and I happened to be right in the flight path of airplanes leaving the airport. I remember the song "watching airplanes" by Gary Alan. Wife loves the song and it is about a waw. I text my wife a single line from the song because it was exactly what I was doing.. "I'm just sitting out here watching airplanes takeoff and fly" .. the song goes on to say "wondering why you don't love me anymore" .. but I didn't text that part. I woke up in the morning to a text from w saying "great song. Gary Alan. I made to Texas. I will be in touch soon. Take care" Of course I have not heard from her since. W is scheduled to move out next week. I will followup with what happens. As this scenario is unfolding I am finding myself connecting with a lot of music. My favorite waw song is "Drops of Jupiter" by Train. If you are not familiar look up the lyrics.

[Jeack]

I'm a wedding DJ also. Talk about fun while going thru a divorce, So I can totally comprehend with music. I suggest you listen to all american rejects, Gives you hell. And if i hear Bruno Mars when I was your man,one more time........lol.

[2ndtimearoundCA]

I can see how being a wedding dj and being around all the happy couples could be hard. And you cant say .. give it 5 years and see where you are ... those are good songs ...

[2ndtimearoundCA]

So w came home from vacation and contacted me the next day. She sent a text asking if she could call later.. so I said ok after waiting a while .. and she called. I missed her call and called her back.. so she says that reason that she called was to tell me that she transferred some money to the bank account to cover her bills. I said thank you and asked if that was all and she said yes and the call ended. Bizarre. She could have just said that in the original text. .. I am guessing that she wanted to me open up the conversation to connect a little me .. so today I text-ed her and asked if our landscaping company took care of the yard .. I asked her to cancel the service because I would not be able to cover that expense. I then said that I hoped she was able to relax on her vacation and that it would help her feel better at work. This opened up the flood gates for her to tell me all about the vacation and her work and that everything was good and she hope I was doing well too and that I should take care of myself. So we text-ed back and forth for a bit.. I don't know if this was good or bad .. nice conversation but I am not sure how it affects "us".. is it time to go dark again? How do I grow from a nice exchange of text messages? She will be gone this next weekend.