This week is Spring Break for the kids. Since W and I both work, we arranged to send our 3 girls to go with MIL to MIL's house in S. CA. They all left on the 6am flight Sunday, leaving my W and I alone.
I had made plans for the W and I to spend the day. Yes, making "dates" is one of the NO's for DB-ing, but in my sitch since we're getting alone hospitably, my DB coach and me as well think it makes sense to show that life with me is good and fun.
I made plans for us to go to a winery in Paso Robles that has a zip line. We had a great time, where you go on 4 zip lines in the winery. If you're ever in the area, I recommend it. With the tour, it's about 2-3 hours.
While at the zip line, the battery in my car died due to who knows what. Normally, such events would really upset me. Now, one of my 180's is to not let such things perturb me.
After the zip-line winery, we drove about 30 minutes to another winery atop a hill that has a surperb 360 view of the countryside. In the car, an argument arose between us about being a Medical Doctor and the suitability of my oldest daughter for being a Dr. My W works in healthcare and she holds Drs. on a pedistal. What irks me is that the subject of her infactuation is a Dr. Anyway, I argued that many Drs end up in medicine for other reasons than some natural inclination, whether it is $$ or what-not. She was arguing that there is a natural inclination, and that our daughter doesn't have it.
It was one of those arguments that doesn't get resolved. I should have avoided it, but didn't. Luckily, when we arrived at the next winery, the scenery blew us away, and we were able to put the argument behind us.
While sitting, sipping wine, and taking in the scenery my W mentioned that she received an email from 2nd D's teacher that she has been missing homework about 1/week. Discussing this, both of us were emotional because we feel our girls have been neglected somewhat during these times. On the days my W goes to the gym, she has little interaction with the girls, and I know this makes her feel guilty. Initially after BD, I had a hard time concentrating on anything else and I know I neglected them a little bit too. Essentially, letting them do what they want.
We also got onto the topic that my W is very unhappy with her job. She has mentioned before about returning to school to be a Physician's Assistant (PA). There is a 2-year program, where 1 year is at a University that is 5-hours from our house, and the second year is a residency with a local doctor. Again, we were emotional in this discussion. I may have had too much wine because I told her to look into it, and if it is something that she really wants to do, then she should do it. She replied that she didn't think it would be good for our relationship. The unspoken acknowledgement between us is that it would involve me being alone with the 3 girls for a year with little contact with my wife while away at school.
I'm stilling thinking through whether our day trip was another small step forward or a step backwards, or nothing. We enjoyed the day, but the discussions and what is left unsaid between us shows that my W has decided that she is staying in the R, but also that she is still convinced she is not in love with me.
When the bomb first dropped, my wife did say she was staying for the kids. She still seems to be in that mindset and is making the best of it. Which for me is fine for now, but at some point I need to have a W that loves me back.
