Ya...it's a bit sad, I think, but I have to give him the space. I will still be friendly and react to all texts etc. Because even though he professes "serious" relationship, you would not have been fooling around with me, talking with me, seeing me etc, without GF;s knowledge. So, he needs some space to see what he truly wants and I need the opportunity to detach bit more. He forgets that I have received texts bemoaning the GF and neediness and her questions etc. (not often, but still there)
It was scary, even with my H's horrendous behavior, to detach completely emotionally. You know what I realized? I want to have a great R with him because we have children. That is my end goal. But, I was skipping steps inbetween. Detaching, letting go, letting OW be his emotional support, etc. I need to process my anger, love, etc before I can have that great co-parenting R...if ever.
I do see you in a similar sitch. Your H is in a R with someone else, but you are allowing yourself to be an option. He has no idea what life would be like without your emotional R. I'm not saying for you to DO anything different, just think. My H is having a heck of a time and it's only been 5 days. I know I was afraid that if I truly detached...he's be gone forever. But, he is with someone else. That hell was worse than now.
Like I said, I'm not suggesting you do anything different. Our sitches are very different. Just some things I've come to see in myself the past 2 months.
We talked about future (separate) but he felt the need to add in "Man makes plans and God laughs"
M: 9 yrs T: 13 yrs H:34 Me:35, S4, D2, S 7 months Dday 11/12-PA & multiple PAs Dbing 12/12 S 1/13 7/13 H moved back in basement. 8/13 #3 born 10/13 still cheating 10/13 He moves across country, I file for D
