Talking about the anniversary this morning prompted me to look up some of my threads from last year. Man, what a basket case. W was either screaming at me, avoiding me, or avoiding me then calling me on the phone to scream at me...then hang up. I don't miss those days. I wasn't having a whole lot of fun and she was talking about suicide on a regular basis. Thank God, that part of all this is over. It scared the hell out of me. I guess this one was a bit of an improvement.
Last year, I didn't see W at all on either day. Just a short call on V-day. She completely ignored our anniversary. At least this time the argument was a short one and we had dinner afterwards.
I do get to see her every day. She's usually pleasant, even if she's somewhat withdrawn. She doesn't go out every night, and she's almost always back at the house by 9-10pm. Most importantly, she's been pretty stable. The mood swings aren't anywhere near what I saw this time last year. She would visibily shake anytime she was around me and act like she was some kind of caged animal. I never understood that.
Maybe, just maybe, three years, she's starting to come out of this tunnel. I still worry about her being happy and about our marriage but, looking back, it's been awhile since I've seriously had to worry about her just giving up on everything.
