Ellie- I have been following UD and Meredith's threads..or at least trying to. They are pretty active and it's difficult to keep up sometimes. I like the Bob Barker theme, although the continued references to Finding Nemo are a little disturbing.
Z, I think she will say, if pressed, that she is working on the R by spending time with me. The problem is she won't say it unless she's pressed and I'm not allowed to press. So I'm really just guessing. Also, even if I got her to say that, she'd never express an opinion on where we'll be in the future. Absolutely no commitments. Nor will she listen if I try to tell her I'm not getting what I want out of this R.
I do want to get out more but I've been pretty busy. YS has games twice a week, D comes in almost every weekend, and I'm trying to get the house ready for sale. That's tough too, since I try to get W to pick up her stuff and she always takes it as criticism.
She still has boxes all over the place from when she moved back home, and she never did put stuff away that sat in our bedroom for the year she was gone. Now she's taken over one of the kids old rooms and has stuff packed in there too. I casually mentioned that I want to get the house appraised and get the realtor in here at the end of this month but it hasn't really got her off the dime.
As far as telling her how I feel, nicely or otherwise, I try. I ask if there is anything I can do? Anything she can do? Anything she wants us to do? It's always a one word answer..."no". If I press, even a little bit she goes off, throws up the old "I've put up with your cr@p for 20 years speech", or just says "I can't talk about this right now." and leaves.
She never answers when I ask "When can we talk about it?" It's weird. Have you ever had a conversation with someone who just acts like you didn't say something if they don't want to address it?" She just moves on like if she ignores it, it will go away.
I'm trying to wait this out until I move this summer. Heading back to a job where I'll be working with people I know and like. Getting out of this town to someplace where I don't feel like I have to drive an hour to do something will help...whether she comes or not.
Until then, I feel like I'm biding my time...or trying too.
