"Normal" affairs generally last between 18-24 months. MLC affairs will last as long as the "buddies" get along and they can suck the life out of each other getting their mlcing needs met.
Please keep in mind that mlcer is acting out as a teenager and doesn't recognize real love in the mlc affair. They may "like" the op, but to say that they love them...maybe in their own way, but it's not the same as what they may have had w/you. The op is nothing more than someone to distract them from their pain and self evaluation, someone to party and pal around w/ and yes, a f@@k buddy. Nothing more. If they should happen to marry the op, it's not a marriage based on honesty but on lies and we all know what a house built on sand will do..tumble. They can never trust each other because they already know what they've done to their former spouses.
I can honestly say that the relationship that my xh and his wife (former ow) shared is nothing more than buddies. Everyone that I have spoken to has confirmed this for me. Even while she's dealing w/her cancer situation, he's out doing his own thing and leaving her alone to deal w/her cancer. When asked how she's doing, he responds as if she's just got the common cold. His reality is far from being in the real world, but...she wanted him and he's her problem now.
Bea and I must have married twins, i.e., I had a very nasty, evil spirited, vindictive mlcer.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
