Eight 12 year old boys, one five year old girl and a 12 year old man trapped in a 44 year olds body. Wow! A huge chocolate cake, 3 extra large pizzas, and two games of Lasertag. Kids had a blast. I think even H did. Normally I take care of everything with these parties but I kind of sat back and let H play host. I let him take care of the bill and gratuity and all of a sudden money is no object. He even played Lasertag with the boys and by his own admission he didn't know what to do and he got eliminated by someone half his size almost immediately. I was glad he had fun though. I could see there were moments he was uncomfortable and almost couldn't even perform basic functions. It was reAlly strange like something was disconnected. Odd. Then I saw moments of clarity where I looked at him and I could see H. The real H. It was brief. Ever so brief, but I could see the flash of real H in his eyes. Is that possible? Am I imagining things? It doesn't really matter, because it doesn't change reality. But for a moment I saw the non-alien. I cried all the way home. Not sure why, but I saw what I thought was gone. A laughing, loving moment like we used to share. Then I remembered. Our relationship wasn't a lie. It wasn't fake. It was real and I was sad for what used to be and what isn't any longer.
I feel like I am in mourning all over again. But, it's all part of the healing process.
AT BD: WH 41, J 43; Bomb 2/5/2012 Two kids, one dog D Final 6/18/14 J marries OW 1/24/15 "No matter where you go, there you are"
