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Joined: Feb 2013
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me too... that's why I keep tossing them around!!..LOL


M:46 H:49 T:20yrs
myD:22
H distant summer/12
H sleeping in b'ment: Nov/12
BD: Dec 2/12
asked me begin to move end of Jan/13
moved Jan 7/13 (left my stuff)
"agreed" to "working on r" Mar 3/13(lipservice!)
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((HUGS))

We all need hugs right now. smile


ME 30. Wife 31.
Married 4 years. Together 10.
One child, 17months old.
Bomb Dropped 3/25/13
Wife wants a divorce.
I had no idea.
Joined: Mar 2013
Posts: 33
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In R news, I just facetime'd with my daughter. My wife looked a lot happier and even engaged me in pleasant conversation for a moment. I am really not sure how to react when I see them tomorrow--obviously I want to give my daughter as many hugs and kisses as I can. With regards to my W, well, is it ok to say I missed her? Probably not?


ME 30. Wife 31.
Married 4 years. Together 10.
One child, 17months old.
Bomb Dropped 3/25/13
Wife wants a divorce.
I had no idea.
Joined: Feb 2013
Posts: 2,561
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nope... keep it to yourself. You will only regret it and get 2x4's here.


M:46 H:49 T:20yrs
myD:22
H distant summer/12
H sleeping in b'ment: Nov/12
BD: Dec 2/12
asked me begin to move end of Jan/13
moved Jan 7/13 (left my stuff)
"agreed" to "working on r" Mar 3/13(lipservice!)
Joined: Mar 2013
Posts: 33
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W and Daughter come home today. Looking forward to seeing then both. It is going to be very difficult for me to not say something. I am starting to feel genuinely detached from my W and The idea of divorce, but the thought of my daughter not living with me anymore is the part that is impossible to detach from right now. I am angry and sad that this is all happening and I can't do anything about it. If my wife doesn't want to be with me then I can't make her but it is impossible for me to dissect that away from the terrible impact this will all have on my daughter. I want to keep her as close as possible and mg wife just doesn't even seem to care at this point.

All I can say is that I just want to hug and kiss that little baby a million times tonight.


ME 30. Wife 31.
Married 4 years. Together 10.
One child, 17months old.
Bomb Dropped 3/25/13
Wife wants a divorce.
I had no idea.
Joined: Feb 2013
Posts: 251
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I know how hard it is in the early months so just hang in there. It gets slightly easier. This forum is a wonderful support network and it helps your mental well being tremendously.

Do all you can to improve yourself and spent as much time as you can with your daughter. You will have a new appreciation for her. That is a gift this situation has presented to you.

When kids are involved it becomes much more complicated emotionally. Logical thoughts are not in the WAW head at the moment. They need time to come to a conclusion in what they want to do.

Keep thinking positively and lovingly detach.


H 37
WAW 32
S 4 (Autistic)
S 2
Together 11 years
Married 6
Bombshell Dec 1 2012
House sold, flying solo June 1 2013.
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Thank you. I agree with you that this is a decision she has to come to on her own. Me forcing the topic won't help but will only make her more determined. I know this will be true especially with my W because she is very strong-willed. I am very concerned that there is an underlying component of depression at play as well and that is making it even more complicated because she is blaming all her unhappiness on me. He has all the classic signs and symptoms of depression and has for much longer than these problems have been evident to me.

I will not talk about the relationship. I will be as pleasant and happy as possible in her presence. I will cherish my daughter infinitely. I will be ok, and hopefully she will see. I will GAL.


ME 30. Wife 31.
Married 4 years. Together 10.
One child, 17months old.
Bomb Dropped 3/25/13
Wife wants a divorce.
I had no idea.
Joined: Aug 2012
Posts: 8,152
Likes: 1
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Originally Posted By: Incandenza
With regards to my W, well, is it ok to say I missed her? Probably not?


It's OK, just don't come off as all weepy when you say it and don't have any expectations that she'll say anything back to you.


Me: 60 w/ S18, D24, D27

M: 21 years; BD: 06-14-12; S: 09-10-12; D final: 03-17-14; XW:57
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Did something stupid last night... I incidentally found a book in my wife's car while I was fetching a box to mail off... Next to the box I found a book about writing in secret codes... Given my suspicions of an affair I was very upset and I asked her about it. She was in bed when I asked her. (We've been in separate bedrooms for weeks now.). She flipped out, saying it was a book she picked up at her office in a free book box along with a handful of others-- a totally plausible explanation. She freaked out on me saying I was paranoid, that I wouldn't give her any space, that I was delusional and looking to find any reason for the separation aside from my own issues. She told me that I have to leave the house, I can't stay at home tonight and if I come home she will take our daughter and go stay elsewhere. I am for. Because I definitely don't want my daughter sleeping in a stranger's house but I also feel like I shouldn't leave the house.
Any advice?


ME 30. Wife 31.
Married 4 years. Together 10.
One child, 17months old.
Bomb Dropped 3/25/13
Wife wants a divorce.
I had no idea.
Joined: Oct 2010
Posts: 6,810
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It sounds to me like she set you up -- put the book there intentionally so you would find it, knowing you'd confront her about it, and then she'd say "See? THIS IS WHY I CAN'T LIVE WITH YOU!"

In any event, NEVER leave your own marital home. It's one of only two or three things around here we practically ALL agree on!


Starsky


M57 W 57; D30 D28 S24 S20 GD7 GD2 GD1 GD5m GD1m
BD 5/07; W's affair 5/07-8/07

At the end of every hard-earned day, people gotta find some reason to believe. (Bruce Springsteen)
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