we own a biz - pt 5

[MrBond]

How much of DB did you actually read? You're still asking the same basic questions.

You're even obsessing over OTHER people's situations. All stiches are different. In some the spouse had a "reawakening" and totally changed their lives to make the marriage better. Some just went back because they didn't want to be alone or it was for the kids, etc. Sometimes they would say what they did when they were gone, sometimes they don't. In the end it doesn't matter. Your H left you because he felt that being alone was better than being with you. That's where his head is at right now and it's your reality. What you do when he's gone is up to you. Not for your H's sake, but for yours.

You are the one who is supposed to be detached enough so that it doesn't matter what your H is doing.

Oh and BTW,

"I think what PON is talking about when he says "3 years" is that it took that much time for his situation to play out. I'm sure that he reached a point of personal equilibrium much earlier than that."

No it DID take three years for him to get a point of accepting things. It was only recently that he was able to do so. There are MANY stories, mine included, where it took YEARS before the WAS even attempted to look back at the LBS.

You've got to get to that point.