If there is an OM involved, there is no way you can compete. Your spouse knows all of your traits. Good and bad. They know very little about the OM except what the OM shows them. I guarantee that the poor traits the OM possesses are not the ones on display.
Trying to one-up the OM is a path destined for failure in my mind. If you do that, you are essentially telling your spouse that you agree that the OM is better and that now you aspire to be just like them... and that's REALLY screwed up!
