Wow pw I've been dealing with the same questions lately. I've been really depressed about the idea that, after all this DB, it may boil down to simple differences that no longer jive.
I haven't figured out a solution. I think, though, from a woman's point of view you can't go wrong with sincerity. If she can tell you're sincere it could break down the wall eventually. Being a woman, it kind of feels the opposite. My sincerity feels like a big red flag of desperateness. I don't know, it's just my frame of mind right now. But what I miss from my H the most is trusting his motives and sincerity. Sounds like you are trying to be your best sincere self and father. It will shine through.
