Hi,bustin, I've been thinking about you too. You have come such a long way. It is easier NOT to be around them. I have come to learn that myself. But, I also believe it is better for the children to have as much time as possible with H.
Your sitch is different than mine in that I see H most days & so does my kids. Neither sitch is ideal nor easy.
You are in a good place, b. Don't worry that your feelings are yo-yoing a bit now that your H is visiting. Things will settle for you again when he leaves. And, each time he visits it will be easier for you.
You're amazing & doing a great job with your growth and awareness!
M- 18 T-21 S-14,11 & 10 BD 6-18-2012 (OW-EA) H moved out 11-3-2012 10-5-13 Me- I want a divorce. I want to move on w my life. 11-25-13 Jointly filed.