So yesterday was my 10 year wedding anniversary and I have been dreading this day since the BD. H asked me on Wednesday if I wanted to go for dinner on Friday night. I agreed and we had a very nice dinner, no fighting, no discussion of the relationship. Just a fun time. He also gave me a card and it read
Happy 10 year anniversary I hope we can make things work between us.
When I read the card, my heart sank in a Bad way. I had no expectations of even receiving a card from him, however those words for some reason just left me feeling empty. there is still so much uncertainty with him. I have been feeling that things have been getting better and I was hoping for more tHan that. I think my expectations are way to high, but I don't know how to lower them. I ts probably time I read divorce busting again.
We spent the day together with the kids and it was good. No fighing. However when he left tonight he said I know we need to talk about the relationship at some time but I am not ready. I am till too angry. I can't fathom this anger he has for me. I have for months tried to understand it, but I can't.
I keep hearing about these relationships that have turned around for the better and it's all because they made a DECISION to work on the marriage. We also learned this at retro. Why can't my H make a decision? He said he hopes things work between us.
He signed the lease on his rental house for another month till the end of may at which time he has to leave as it has already been rented starting June 1.
One minute I feel good about everything and really hopeful and then the next I feel like giving up and walking away.
H:37 W:37 M:10 years D:7&5 Bomb:9/7/12. H moves out H moved back 12/23/12-not going well Retrouvaille 1/18 H moving out again 3/14
