Okay hon, so she's depressed and alien-infested still. Don't bother with the tit-for-tat coffee thing. Just make it every morning - a truly generous act does not depend on the recipient's gratitude. And don't get in a snit about her being gone - maybe YOU should be going out and making her wonder where you are? What would have happened if she came home the other night and you weren't home yet? What might happen if you said "sure, honey, have a great time at bingo" and then get dressed up to go out while she does. If she asks where you're going - "out with some friends". Then DO NOT come home until after she does. I've seen it work a dozen times.
