oops... spoke too soon, guess he was thinking how to reply to me:
"its my responsibility and I want to make sure you guys are safe"
Gosh, now I just wanna tell him I love him... I won't!
M:46 H:49 T:20yrs myD:22 H distant summer/12 H sleeping in b'ment: Nov/12 BD: Dec 2/12 asked me begin to move end of Jan/13 moved Jan 7/13 (left my stuff) "agreed" to "working on r" Mar 3/13(lipservice!)
Thats EXACTLY what I want to do, but not sure how to go about doing that. I have lost all confidence, and others cannot believe I am the one who is chasing him (based on personality & looks).... Being rejected sent me for a serious loop!
Any advice?
M:46 H:49 T:20yrs myD:22 H distant summer/12 H sleeping in b'ment: Nov/12 BD: Dec 2/12 asked me begin to move end of Jan/13 moved Jan 7/13 (left my stuff) "agreed" to "working on r" Mar 3/13(lipservice!)
A lot of people here may give me grief for saying this, but get yourself all dolled up (I mean REALLY nice.). Head out to a club with a girl friend. Not a group of girls, but one other girl. She will keep you out of trouble and give you someone to talk to. See how many guys hit on you. That will let you know you are not someone to be set out at the curb.
Remember, this is ONLY an experiment and a tool to pump up your self esteem!! Don't do anything stupid!
lol.. well, I have been to lots of bars lately to see my friend band play. I have been out and looking awesome, but must be wearing a sign that says "losers line up here" or another that says "messed up big time, stay away" ...LOL
Not to toot my own horn, but I am considered quite attractive, youthful, petite, blonde, fun and quite popular with friends and in high school. H on the other hand is quiet, non-approachable, not social, not that attractive anymore, lives in sweatshirts even for nights out!... so why does he suddenly feel the grass may be greener, and that he can do better than me? (mind reading)... and how dare he DITCH ME!! lol
M:46 H:49 T:20yrs myD:22 H distant summer/12 H sleeping in b'ment: Nov/12 BD: Dec 2/12 asked me begin to move end of Jan/13 moved Jan 7/13 (left my stuff) "agreed" to "working on r" Mar 3/13(lipservice!)
It is easy to tell when a person is approachable and when they are not. You are probably so consumed in what you are dealing with that you give the impression of not being approachable.
Just let your guard down and let people talk to you. Flirt a little. Relax. Be yourself. All you want to do is have some conversation. You know this. Let yourself enjoy the night out instead of thinking about what you've been dealing with lately.
Remember, YOU are in control. YOU make the choices as to what happens. YOU are pretty, funny, smart, interesting, and sexy!
Thank you P2.. I NEED to know it & H needs to appreciate it! (he has forgotten, i think).
How are things for you tonight?
M:46 H:49 T:20yrs myD:22 H distant summer/12 H sleeping in b'ment: Nov/12 BD: Dec 2/12 asked me begin to move end of Jan/13 moved Jan 7/13 (left my stuff) "agreed" to "working on r" Mar 3/13(lipservice!)
Things are going well for me. I'm on another trip. Get back in 3 days. Talked with both our kids on the phone today and had good conversations with them.
Talked with my DB coach and he felt like there were some good improvements to my situation. Texted and talked with the wife today. Mostly kid stuff, but we worked well together on the phone.
When I talk to you about your lack of self esteem, I hope you know that I only see it because I KNOW it. I have sold myself short for years and I have never seen myself as someone that would be sought after. The funny thing is, if I look at it, I have a job most people would envy, make a pretty good paycheck, travel the world, have two beautiful kids, and I don't look like I got hit by a bus! On top of this, I have an absolutely STUNNING wife. Why would I feel I am not a catch? It's because of how I grew up. It affected me and convinced me I was worth less than others. I am just now beginning to understand what the real truth is.
You need to learn the same. If you knew your REAL value, WFM, you would not be letting your husband work you over like this.
I'm not saying to walk away. What I am saying is that If he decides to leave, you WILL have someone come along and show you JUST HOW MUCH you are desired and loved!
I sure hope so P2... fingers crossed that HE can show me, before someone comes along and scoops me up...LOL... He needs a serious wake up call. Even a friend of his told me this years ago.
What does your DB coach offer you? (specifically?) what are the improvments. Happy for you!!
M:46 H:49 T:20yrs myD:22 H distant summer/12 H sleeping in b'ment: Nov/12 BD: Dec 2/12 asked me begin to move end of Jan/13 moved Jan 7/13 (left my stuff) "agreed" to "working on r" Mar 3/13(lipservice!)
Really what I get from my DB coach is confirmation of things that I believe may be true. If I think a baby step has happened, my DB coach can confirm it or explain to me how I may be mistaken. My coach offers me insight as to how to deal with certain problematic situations that I deal with in my marriage to my wife.
He can tell me where not to tread and the reasons for it. He can also tell me what to watch out for and what to expect. In addition, he suggests things for me to work on and ways to engage my wife. All of this gives me encouragement and lets me know when I am doing well and when I am making missteps. It's almost like having a great friendship with the best friend of your spouse.
I won't!
Happy for you!!