Here we go loopty loo. Here we go loopty li.

[Raine]

TWS - It is that feeling. I feel so done, but it's not done with me. I just feel like he is ruining every happy moment I've had with him. It's depressing. Take her to dinner to one of my favorite places? Jerk. I think he took her out to dinner out of obligation. Gotta pay for service rendered at some point huh? He doesn't take any of them out or really buy them things, but I think this one holds him to a different level. He used cash and the only cash he has is his bday month from my mom. Nice huh?

snodderly - thanks so much. I agree. I'm finishing up the odds and ends of getting ready for next week. I do feel more tired and drained that usual, so I know everything else just gets compounded when that happens and I'm far more emotional. I'm anxious to have one more step checked off my list.

rH - I have felt that from him, that I am so much better than all his tiny crutches, but because I deserve so much better and because he has done so much to hurt me, he's not going to get back into a relationship with me. More excuses so he doesn't have to change what he is doing? He has done so much damage he can't see a way out? That the only way out is going to lead to me wanting nothing to do with him, so why bother and why put me through that? He knows that I will not bend, that I won't be his doormat. When I went to the Dr last week they wanted to know how Easter went. I said, great! I had H take care of everything. They were surprised and wanted to know if he was back in the picture. I said no, but that he will do anything I ask. Dr say, except come back? And I said, I'm not asking that. He has to do a lot of work on himself before that would ever happen. I think they were pretty impressed by that, but it's so how I feel.

Thanks T^2! I just read your latest post about trying to interpret the changes in your W. My H came in super happy last night to pick up S and first thing he asks is if he can give me a hug. Very different from the last time he was here, the day before taking OW4 out, where he seemed really irritable. And when I picked up S, the first thing he said is how pretty I looked. He is being nice, but I don't trust anything. Is it guilt? I did tell him when he acknowledged about not phoning S back, that S was really disappointed and that he kept asking to call him again and again. I did like that this time is H didn't lie. He didn't give a reason, but he didn't lie, and he apologized to S. Normally he would make a lot of stuff up about why he didn't call.