Isn't it just common courtesy when you are leaving town for the night to at least let someone know when you left? Ugh! Just venting here so I don't say it to her.
Have you ever asked her to keep you posted of her comings and goings? If you haven't, you should. Not because you want to keep a leash on her, but because you guys are running a household and raising kids together.
Make it all about respect for one another, and practicalities, not control. She can go out, but you deserve to be made aware, just like you would do with her. Set up some boundaries on this or she will continue to walk all over you. The sooner the better. The longer you let this go, the more backlash you'll get.
M: A really long time. Crisis: 5 years. She's still worth it.
Life is never made unbearable by circumstances, but only by lack of meaning and purpose. -Viktor Frankl
