Help! I'm afraid to mess this up!

[ezekiel37]

So, here's my story. Shortly Before Christmas this year, I started hearing rumors that my H of 14 years was having an affair with OW @ work. Denied it, swore on kids lives, then began to say he was "struggling with having feelings of overwhelming love for me". "Maybe we should just focus on being good parents" "doesn't know if he wants to work on us". Funny thing is, I would always get this information via email, while he was @ work! Then on 01/07/13 I found the text messages he thought he had deleted from his Blackberry confirming my suspicions. There were ILY's between the 2 of them, and Happy New Year wishes, and apparently he told her he was leaving me on New Years Eve when they were working together. He said divorce wasn't inevitable, but that he wasn't happy. Denies having physical affiair, says he loves her as a friend. Ugh! Basically no answers, no apologies, no accountability. And suddenly he rewrites history, as in he's never been happy, he's not Christian enough for me, we re a dysfunctional family, the kids will be better off. I wish you could meet our kids, definately not products of disfunction! He leaves the home that night, gone for 2 weeks. Comes home,shares bed for 2 weeks, gets up one morning says he's going to meet with his father who he's been estranged from for over 3 years, doesn't come home rest of week. Comes home next week, to say to me that he is going to be moving into one of his fathers rental homes, wants a divorce, but no lawyers, wants to be " best friends" , do it together. Leaves march 8th to live in fully furnished, fully free, house. Precedes to come home for dinner, tucks boys in every night he's no working, never talks to them about living in other house, spends weekends back at house (on couch). No talk of divorce, or papers filed or anything as of April 5 th. when he leaves the house, texts me compliments, makes my lunch for work, has brought me coffee a few times in the mornings before work, he asked me to be his assisstant coach for youth bball, and will sometimes hug me, kiss me, but cannot and will not recieve loving gestures from me. Guilt maybe? The inlaw situation compliments things as they are thrilled that he has left me, and definately are not supporting reconciliation. So here I am in limbo...not wanting to make any moves, much less the wrong one! Still no answers, no apologies, no real conversations at all! How long can limbo last? How do I play this? Do I have a chance at busting this divorce??
Any wisdoms?