So, "keeping a perfect house" -- this is what you would do if you suddenly lost her? Being messy is something about your SELF that always bothered you?
I'm sorry Inc, but all I see here is more placating of your wife. I've personally never seen that approach work. You're SPRINTING, and you won't be able to keep this up.
What did Chuck suggest about dealing with the affair?
Starsky
Yeah my messiness has always bothered me. You're right about it not being the thing I would do if my wife suddenly died though. The cleanliness thing is really less for my wife (who essentially seems to have stopped doing any domestic duties whatsoever outside of basic childcare) and more for my daughter, who deserves to live in a nice place regardless of whether or not her parents are together or happy.
Perhaps you're right that I'm sprinting and probably placating as well. Right now I know that I couldn't continue doing what I'm doing now forever, but it hasn't been all that bad either.
With regards to the affair--Chuck basically said not to mention it anymore. I'm still not sure how far it went between the two of them--I don't know if it was a true emotional affair of if it was more of an unrequited crush my wife had on her coworker--either way he just said that the more I talk about it, the more I'm inviting her to think about the OM, and that's the last thing I want. He's right.
At the heart of it, she was lonely and wanted attention she wasn't getting from me, right? That's why her eyes and heart started to wander--or at least that's what she says. Maybe I'll never really understand.
As far as GALing, I'm working on it. Chuck told me to start working on my bucket list. Problem is, I don't really have much of one. That's probably the first place to start. After my session with Chuck, I sat down to start working on one, and honestly, I came up with like 3 things that I REALLY want to do before I die. I can think of a lot of other things that would be nice to have happen, but not a ton of things that I would really actively pursue. I know that sounds lame. My mind isn't in the best place to be hopeful about the future right now, I guess, and it's hard to imagine a lot of fun things I guess.
God, I know I sound awful. Thanks for reading any of my posts, folks.
ME 30. Wife 31. Married 4 years. Together 10. One child, 17months old. Bomb Dropped 3/25/13 Wife wants a divorce. I had no idea.
