Thanks for responding to me. Having someone to type back and forth to makes me feel a little less isolated.
I'm glad to hear that my posting encourages you with your son. He is the one with OCD, right (hope I didn't get you confused with someone else)? That stinks, and has a lot in common with Asperger's. Hopefully he will find things that are important enough to him to really dig in and do the work to confront his anxiety - sounds like he has not always been facing up to everything. Not that I'm a great expert on doing that...I have my own parts of myself that I ignore and put off. And I'm 46!
Mrtwopointfour -
Thanks for the support and empathy. I guess that the more I let my M go (W doesn't want to be anywhere near me now, and the only way for me to survive has been to convince myself that my life needs to go on as if it is over - although in my heart the door is still open), the more I feel relieved myself. In fact, once recently W attributed some nasty motivations to my actions, and I just let it go - it felt very liberating, as though her rejection (utter and total) meant I didn't have to go on trying to get her to love me. I just needed to be me, and if she loves me again (eventually), great...if she doesn't...well, she already doesn't, so there's really little left to lose, there.
I'm glad it [b]sounds[\b] like I am ready to do the work. I've failed myself a number of times, so the proof is in whether I really follow through - that takes a lot more courage than stating my goals.
Still, I'll say this, at least: I have never given up - each time I have failed myself, I have gotten back up and tried again. I guess that's just how you live life, right?
Hope to hear from you guys again.
Think about it...if you met a potential mate who was nothing but a bundle of needs, would YOU be attracted to them?
