Just you can't make someone else do stuff.....do you understand? If your actions and 180s lead to these, okay, but they should not be your goal.
A goal is something you set for you, not for someone else. So if you want to say have a discussion about future holidays with W and not avoid it, cool. You can't make W slow down on negative comments. You can choose to ignore them or confront them calmly or say that it is unacceptable, but you can't make her stop.
Maybe I am just reading them wrong, because when I turn them around like that they make sense. But when you state absolutes for someone else to achieve, they seem like " She will do this " and I am telling you all you can do is make your own choices and guide your own actions
