Bond, yes, we have talked about it numerous times outside of SS's presence. She doesn't usually undermine me in front of him, it's more like it's after I decide something, SS is upset, in another room, and then she does it. But it's still undermining me.
W wants me to be involved with all aspects of raising SS, including discipline, but she wants to be able to have the ability to overrule me. She's fine with it when she is in agreement or when she doesn't want to deal with the stress of it herself. But then when she doesn't agree with me, or she feels badly for ss, then she feels that she can overrule me. It wouldn't be like that if ss were our bio child. And that is frustrating for me. I feel that if I'm to be involved with discipline, then I have to have the power/authority to carry it out.
We have talked about it and agree that she and I should generally try to talk to each other before doing anything. But that isn't always possible and sometimes, one of us will be put in a position where we have to act at the moment.
One thing that I point out to her is that I NEVER overrule her and ALWAYS back her up in front of ss... even when I think that she is wrong or overreacting.
Also, the reality is that I am the only person in SS's life who he really is afraid of... 'afraid' in the sense that he will think twice before misbehaving with me around. During our separation, ss was completely out of control. He has been much, much better since we began reconciliation. W has admitted as much, but gives credit to ss maturing vs. the fact that I am around.
Just very frustrating...
In any case, we were talking by the time that I took her to the airport this morning and we hugged and had a goodbye kiss before I left. So things were better.
M 43 X 38 T 13 W moves out of home 11/2010 Roller coaster from hell 2/2011-5/2012 I request divorce 5/2012 W moves home 6/2012 Good time 7/2012 - 1/2015 I leave 3/2016 process of divorce
