Look at this from a positive perspective, not a negative one. You now know what kind of pain your XH is going through. You now know how deep that pain goes and what how important that trust really is. Yes, the journey of forgiveness to yourself is beginning and there is healing to be done but the important thing is that this process is necessary to rediscover peace of heart. You have begun that journey now. While it may be painful at first, it will eventually lead to complete healing for you, and maybe even your XH.
That's the important part of this. Now you know. Forgive yourself and let time heal the wounds. This is a tremendous step forward for both of you.
