I remembered what you said about expressing my gratitude to my wife for everything that she has done and all that she has sacrificed for the good of our family. I'm not sure if I did a very good job of it, but I really gave it my best effort. I did this while we were at lunch and she was expressing her pain to me about her dissatisfaction with where she finds herself right now in life. I am thinking about putting it down on paper so that some time in the future, if the opportunity is right, I can give it to her. It might be better than speaking to her.
Something very significant happened later that day. My wife spoke to me and told me she appreciated what I said to her and then she apologized for her expressions of anger and frustration. She thanked me for understanding and listening to her. Hearing that come from her meant the world to me.
I have been trying something new lately. I am convinced that one of my wife's preferred LL is PT. I have been making sure that I touch her. Either rub her neck and shoulders, massage her feet, comb through her hair with my fingers. That kind of stuff. This is how we used to be. When I do this, she doesn't pull away. She lets me continue. I see this as a good sign.
Last week, I moved myself and my clothes back into the MBR. I have been feeling that a lot of the friction we have been experiencing has been due to us both feeling that things are not normal. I believe that this has been partly fueld by our living arrangement. Because my stuff was gone and I was not sleeping with her, it made it that much more obvious that things were not normal between us. I feel that by removing that evidence, it may be helping us come together. Again, only time will bear this out.
New developments for us this week have been ML for the first time since Nov, planning a summer vacation without the kids, and her agreeing to a spring vacation as a family. On top of that, she actually kissed me before leaving to go meet her friends yesterday.
I am hopeful, but remain aware that we are NOT out of the woods. Patience, baby steps, and trying not to backslide!
